Our ministry seeks to provide education and community outreach to family members of individuals that suffer from addiction, through training, Christian Counseling and assistance in daily living emergencies.
We seek to improve the lives of family members and increase the odds their loved one is successful while in rehab, and in recovery after graduation.
My name is Greg Bufkin. I am 38 years old. I graduated from The Home of Grace (an inpatient Christian addiction treatment center) June 10th, 2016. Before that i struggled with addiction to narcotic medication for approximately 13 years. My addiction cost me 2 marriages and my ministry as a pastor in The United Methodist Church.
I met and married my beautiful wife (co administrator of this website and ministry, Andrea J. Bufkin) in December of 2011. I struggled hard, fighting my addiction almost every day for the first 4 years of our marriage, but i lost almost every day.
February 21st, 2016 i went to pick up my 15 year old daughter from visitation with her biological father. I had another younger daughter with me. While waiting, my drug dealer met me and sold me some pills. I took them and turned onto the highway going home. That is the last thing i remember. I certainly didn’t know at the time but the pills i purchased were not what they were advertised to be. They were a different medication that had been laced with fentanyl. I took those pills on Sunday and didn’t wake up until Thursday morning, in the hospital. After i turned onto the highway i apparently blacked out from an unintentional overdose but continued to drive for another 15-20 minutes before my body became completely unconscious. My 2 children were traumatized having witnessed the entire ordeal.
You might think that would have served as a wake up call, but it didn’t. I still wasn’t willing to admit i had a problem. In my mind the problem was that i couldn’t trust my dealer. I decided to use a different dealer. So on March 7th, 2016 i purchased some pills from my other dealer while i was at work. I took them, got in my Class B work truck and turned onto the main road. What i didn’t know was that he had received his pills from the same original source that my other dealer had gotten his from. After turning onto the main road i blacked out from another unintentional overdose. I drove north on the main road, got onto the interstate and drove about 10 miles before i pulled in a rest area and my body went completely unconscious again, with no memory of the events. That was a Monday. I woke up at home on Thursday. The hospital called my wife and told me i would be in a wheel chair in the lobby waiting on her to pick me up. I couldn’t stay because they needed the bed for somebody with a “real” medical issue. My wife found me unconscious, slumped over in a wheelchair, drooling on myself with nobody even keeping an eye on me. She loaded me up and took me home.
When i woke up i was informed that I was going to rehab, so i went to The Home of Grace. The people of my church community group raised the money for me to go, so i went.
While i was there my wife noticed a gap in the ministry. This gap is not specific to The Home of Grace. I believe that most inpatient rehabs suffer from this shortcoming, and that is the family.
While i was in rehab my family had to go on dealing with life without a father and a husband. They had all the same financial obligations, minus my income. They had to continue to deal with every day life as well as facing the after effects of my addiction.
While i was in rehab the lawn mower broke, so my wife couldn’t cut the grass. The door fell off the hinges, the cat was injured in a fight with another cat, and many other difficulties. My family was left alone to deal with all these things, and many others, while still trying to deal with the trauma of what they had all experienced, and the shock of my extended absence, while facing the very prevalent fear and anxiety of what life would look like when i got out of rehab.
It was during this trying time that my wife realized that the success of the addict in recovery is heavily influenced by the success of the family. If the family cannot survive without the addict he is likely to want to leave rehab early to go home and save the family. If he doesn’t complete rehab he or she probably will not be ready to face life in the real world yet. A situation that is this stressful on the family (because of the choice the addict made to use) is very likely to breed feelings on bitterness or unforgiveness towards the addict. Even if they finish rehab they are likely to walk back into an explosive situation. If that happens, the odds of them relapsing is very high.
Also, if while the addict is in rehab, he or she receives counseling and learns tools to deal with his/her own emotional issues, but the family doesn’t learn those tools then the reunion is very likely to find the family and the client on 2 very different pages, and very likely in different books, and MAYBE in different languages.
If however the family has access to similar resources that the client has access to, when the addict returns home it would increase their odds for success greatly if they were at least using the same playbook.
Lastly, i can guarantee that the family has suffered some type of trauma while loving the addict. They may have witnessed an overdose, witnessed fighting between parents, seen drug deals happen, experienced mental, emotional, or physical abuse, or possibly other, even worse, types of trauma. We’d like to help offer counseling so that the family can work on healing themselves while the addict is tackling his or her addiction.
We believe that the total healing of the addict includes helping to heal the family, not just the addict. We are extremely excited to see what Jesus Christ does to bring about healing and restoration as he tears down the walls of addiction.